At some point or another, you will most likely have a partner who you feel like you never see. Your schedules are exactly opposite, or they have so many necessary projects going on that you feel like you’re never in the same room anymore.
These periods of time can feel lonely and isolating. It’s part of the tough necessities in life, but there are ways to work around them!
Active Quality Time Scheduling
If neither of your schedules seem like they ever line up to give you enough quality time, it may be necessary to actively schedule it. If you have it, consider cashing in a day of PTO, or just request a day off a few weeks ahead. It will be a needed break for you and your partner.
If you find that you and your partner are only together while you’re laying down in bed, eating a meal, or getting ready for the day, take this time for each other. Take ten minutes with each other in the morning, just to drink your coffee and enjoy each other’s presence. Put the phones down during dinner and watch a 30 minute show together while you eat. When you lay down in bed together, lean against each other and feel each other’s heartbeat and breath. In the five minutes you get to be together, spend it giving each other a hug. Yes, a loooong hug! Maybe not five minutes, but more than 20 seconds! Hugs that are longer than 20 seconds can help the body fight infection, lowers stress, increases dopamine, and relieves high blood pressure. A long hug can help you both to slow down for a moment and just be present with each other.
If you both have projects you need to do, consider moving into the same room and doing your own things together. This is “parallel play.” While practicing parallel play, you can put on some music, a show to play in the background, or a podcast, like Bringing Intimacy Back! Listening to something together while your hands work separately strengthens the bond between people.
Being busy doesn’t mean the end of a relationship. I hope that these tips can help you and your partner find ways to make time for each other and grow closer.